Worst mom award!

Dear children,
And the award for worst mom goes to... drum roll please... ME! Let's break it down:

Every Wednesday is early out. That means Jonas is supposed to get picked up from school at 1:15 instead of 2:45. This does not mean that you are supposed to wait for a phone call from his teacher telling you Jonas is in her classroom and she's wondering if you are on your way! I forgot not once, but twice this month.

When you pick your kid up from school you are supposed to wait until they are in the vehicle and safely buckled in their seat before you drive off. What you don't want to do is get so involved with the conversation you are having on your cell phone about your friend's husband who was at church and has NEVER been before and what was he doing there... So involved that you think you opened the automatic sliding door for your son and you think he is securely fastened so you start to drive off. And then you hear yelling and screaming and crying at the top of his little lungs and you hear a loud thud at the back of the van and realize, gulp, he's not in the car! You look back and see him with his tear streaked face running after you and the thud you heard was him throwing his backpack at the car. Can you imagine?! And parents EVERYWHERE are staring at ME, the horrible mom. And what do I do? I start to laugh. Hysterically. It's a weakness I have. When I get news that someone dies I sometimes laugh. Absolutely horrible, I know. I cry so often that sometimes I just have to laugh.  I don't know why it has to be at the most inopportune times. 

Jonas was supposed to bring snacks to school this month. Guess what? I forgot!! Surprise, surprise.

Clara was supposed to have a field trip this month. The bus left at 8:00. Guess what? We were late and she missed her field trip!

The house payment is due on the 15th of every month. Guess what day I realized I hadn't payed it? The 20th. Not good.

Clara has soccer practice at 5:30 every Monday and Wednesday. On Monday she was supposed to have pictures. At 5:30. The whole team. Guess what time we got there? 5:50. The pictures were over.

So now you should all feel GREAT about your parenting skills someday! :-}

I really need a vacation. Desperately!

The icing on the cake- On the last day of the month I was supposed to teach a jewelry making class to about 30 ladies. I get to the church, set up all my stuff, the ladies all get there and then I realize I am the biggest space cadet on the planet! I forgot one of the most essential elements of making a bracelet! The crimp bead! This is the bead that holds the bracelet together so that the beads don't all fall off. BEAUTIFUL. Just BEAUTIFUL. A perfect end to my perfect month.

12 comments:

  1. I think i laughed during the whole time i was reading...don't worry we all have days like that. Your an awesome mom. I loved the part about Jonas throwing his backpack at the car.

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  2. Gotta Love it. Ingenious of Jonas to throw his backpack...or something...got your attention at least. I laughed out loud at that part. You are still amazing!

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  3. I wanna die!! That is SO funny!!!

    I read it once to myself and cried tears of laughter, then read it again out loud to Grant, and I was laughing so hard about the whole backpack issue and couldn't even spit the words out!

    You just made my night! Thank you!

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  4. Glad to hear that I am not the only one that has moments like that!! I used to forget about early out day all the time--Luckily we don't have it in our school here!

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  5. Kassie, Aaron and BoysApril 30, 2009 at 7:09 AM

    Thanks so much for making me laugh today! I am so sorry that you have had a crazy month, I hope that next month is a lot better for you!

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  6. You're making me laugh too:) Vacation? How bout coming and hanging out with me and my three kdis?

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  7. Kinda like laughing when someone falls down. This made me laugh. I forgot to pick up Santiago from Kindergarten. He was waiting in the principal's office. They made me sign an acknowledgement that if he was forgotten again CPS would be called. Yuck. Now I put everthing on may cell calendar with a 15 minute reminder alarm. That helps as long as I have my phone.

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  8. The Palmer familyMay 1, 2009 at 6:45 AM

    HAHA! Oh Meshan, you are hilarious! Thanks for the great laugh. I am always messing up and i'm so glad the kids are so forgiving. Jonas still loves you, he made you that beautiful Mothers Day gift! You are such a good mom. I need to babysit for you guys soon!

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  9. I laughed, then I wanted to cry for you! I can so relate, but I know that I wouldn't have handled any of it as well as you did! You and Trey are sooo getting a date night when we get out there!!

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  10. Kaitlin told me about this so I had to come read it myself! I was laughing so hard, but at the same time knew exactly how you feel some days. Thanks for a great laugh though!

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  11. I swear it is the fourth kids that puts you over the edge.

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  12. Oh Shan! You are the funniest Mom in the world. Seriously funny about Jonas & the moving van! I can just picture this little boy throwing his backpack in the van, running along side of the van just like the hobos did on the railroads during the depression! Made my day!

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