March 11, 2011
I had a bad day. I was grumpy and mean. By the time 8:00pm rolled around I just wanted the day over and done with. I told you all to get your jammers on and go to bed.
"What about family prayer?" Jonas asked.
"Just go to bed."
"But aren't we going to have family prayer?" Clara asked.
"Go. To. Bed. NOW!"
You all ran off and I continued cleaning the kitchen. When I was in Jonas' room getting Atticus ready for bed Jonas quietly said, "Mama?"
"We had family prayer without you."
"You did? Who?"
"Me and Clara and Nora. Clara said the prayer."
"Did you have family hug too?"
"Yes and we wish you would have been there."
After I apologized and promised to never do that to you guys again I shut the bedroom door. I felt horrible! Can you just picture three little heads bowed together and then as they got up from their knees hugging one another? The sweetness! Since Clara said the prayer I'm sure she was praying that her mama would be nice.
I've decided being grumpy isn't worth it. Taking time for my children is. I'm going to push through the rough spots, the hard days, the bad moments. I once read an article in the Washington Post by Carolyn Hax and there was a quote that's always stuck with me:
[Being a parent] means resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's so true! I'm sometimes tempted to take a nap, get on the internet, read a book, etc. instead of interacting with my children. It's just so much easier to do my own thing rather than what will be for your best benefit. Forgive my worldly impulses.
I love you all and I'm thankful for your example. Love, Mama