Furniture Drama (Part 1)

Dear Love,
     On Friday I took Jonas to lunch, which is a very rare treat.  While taking said child back to school we happened to drive by a Yard Sale.  I couldn't pass it up.

No really babe, I couldn't.  There was lots of junk stuff to browse through, but what caught my eye was a particular piece of furniture.  Upon closer examination I noticed it had a sign on it that said, "FREE".  Now you know I can't pass up something that's free, even if I don't need or particularly want it.   I did happen to want and need this beauty though.

I begged the owner to load it into the back of my van for me and it was a TIGHT fit.  I'm talkin' no room to spare.  I tried to help the best I could, but he was swearing like a sailor the whole time so I don't think I helped too much.  Once it was shoved in as far as it could go, the back hatch wouldn't shut all the way, but there was no way I was having the guy take it back out after all the sweating and cursing he did to get it in.

When I got in the car I began to have my doubts, "Wow, it's bigger than I thought.  It needs some work done.  Where am I going to put it?  How am I going to get it back out and into the house?  Uh-oh, I may be in trouble."  Then I looked over at Jonas and he said to me, "Um, mom, do you think you should have gotten that thing?"  My thoughts exactly, but it was too late now.

Prior to taking Jonas to lunch I had told his teacher I would come back and read to his class.  I had also scheduled to meet with Clara's teachers afterwards.  Well, now that I had this big ol' beast in the back of my van and it wouldn't close I was torn between parking in a well populated area so if someone tried to steal my car others would see, or should I park in a remote area and hope no one noticed my back hatch was slightly ajar.  I opted for the semi-remote area.  After being at the school for a couple hours I was relieved to come out and find both my car and furniture still there.  

I wasn't thinking quite clearly at this point and I went to pick up the two younger children at the sitters house.  I kept knocking on the door and ringing the doorbell until I finally realized, "I'm at the wrong house!"  Oops!  I got in the car and drove a street over and crammed loaded our two littles into the back with the furniture.

When we got home I just stood there, looking at the blasted piece of furniture and trying to figure out how to get it out.  I noticed our friendly neighbor was home across the street so I walked over and casually asked him how he was doing.  When he told me he was recovering from bronchitis and he still couldn't breathe properly I knew he wasn't the one to help me.  I then noticed our other neighbor had a repairman at her house.  I strategically waited until he came out and then asked him if he would help me unload a piece of furniture for 20 bucks.  He came and looked in the back of the van and then he laughed in my face.  He said there was no way the two of us were going to get it out.  I thanked him kindly and then kicked him in the rear on his way out of the garage.  Okay I didn't, but I wanted to.

At this point I was cursing myself (quite literally) for being so dumb.  What was I thinking?!  Clearly I wasn't.  By now it was time to pick up the other kids from school and I also had to pick up their friend and take him home.  There was NO WAY I could fit five kids with that bleeping furniture in the back.  Argh!  What to do?  What to do?  I called my friend Katie who has the kindest soul in the world and asked her if she would load some children in her car and then follow me home.  She said her husband was picking up her daughter and that he would help me.  Her husband happens to also have a kind soul so I asked him if he would not only take my children home for me, but also help me unload a piece of furniture.  They probably think I'm such a moron because I seem to always call on them in my times of crisis (or stupidity).  

As we were driving up to the house I saw my dear sweet husband there.  I'm pretty sure I audibly gulped.  Our eyes met and neither said a word, but we knew exactly what the other was thinking.  Dear sweet husband was thinking, "What the hell?!" and sweet innocent wife was thinking, "Oh great, I'm in big trouble now." 

... Part 2 to follow (after I take pictures of the beast)...